Monday, November 15, 2010

want a long story???

i have tonnes of free time. Actually that 'free time' I suppose to work. Hmm... Forget it. I too lazy to work. Most of my times I use for daydreaming, sleeping, online, and hanging out or going out alone. Want to know the story I want to tell? Actually I don't have anything to tell. Just that, sometimes I like to write, even it's nothing or just babbling. And I find it ease my mind. Seriously, I want to create something of my own. A novel? Honestly I don't like making long stories. I like short stories.
I want to do a lot of things. But, my body is too lazy. Everything seems like obstacles. Writing is an obstacles. Thinking straight is an obstacles. Focusing is an obstacles. The main ingredient to achieve something is thinking and focusing. But for me, when my mind start to think, (like an old engine), my mind starts to broke down and looking out for other exciting things to do. Try to think of it, I never achieve anything marvelous. I really want to. A WANT and a STRUGGLE TO ACHIEVE is a total different story. You can think of anything that you want, but to achieve it, it's a struggle. ( Looking at this entry, I think it's an achievement for me to write 2 paragraph... hehehe... funny)
Anyhow, I feel at ease now. It really some therapy to write. My mind is full of s***. Need to get it out somehow.
What else I want to tell you in this entry? Let's wait for another 5 or 6 minutes before I think of anything. Muah Muah... love you my writing... heheheh

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

new stages... so fast???

It's normal to say it seems like yesterday i was single... hhehehhe . Yup, seems like just yesterday I was waiting to be married. And today I am married. My eyebrows are raised. It feel like a dream. And to add to the dream that I never woke up since, I'm now almost 5 week pregnant. :). Blessings coming all around me... Couldn't believe it?? I love you my Husband. :) This is the second stage of my life. Have to be patience going through stages of life.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Friday, September 17, 2010

Heart beat away...

Just can't believe. In another 10 days, I'm going to be a man's wife. How's that feels like? I will be sleeping next to a person that I love so dearly. Hmm.. That's kind of scary, don't you think? Because I am used to sleeping alone and have all the bed to myself, all the blanket, all the pillow to myself. Next thing I know, I'll be sharing everything... hmm.. scary..

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Another EMPTY day

This another empty day, that I failed to fill it with activities of learning, or ibadah. In a muslim's life, other activities other than seeking sustenance, gaining knowledge or ibadah, is consider a waste of precious time in this temporary dunya. If we look at the scholars and the companions of the prophet, they hardly had time to be wasted, or anytime for entertainment. There were time to spread the teachings, time for ibadah, time for family, time to administrate, time to gain sustenance, but... there were no time for merely entertainment. How they, consume their lives for only to search for the love of Allah. Man! I really envy them. I really ENVY them. I do not envy the world leader today, I do not envy the celebrities today, but I envy those who dedicated their life for the GOAL of meeting Allah. Subhanallah.

Monday, September 6, 2010

What is my colour today?

What is my colour today? which colour can represent FORGETFULNESS... and HOPELESSNESS? Not a bad day, but a 'running here and there'-day. Never done that before. Not like this.

Ok. What's the colour I see today? It is BLUE. I guess nothing special today happened so I labeled it BLUE. Let us see what can we comprehend about the colour blue.
1. Earth is the Blue Planet.
2. The sea is BLUE in color.
3. The sky is blue in daylight. (why?) Please refer to wikipedia.
4. Some people have BLUE eyes. That's fascinating and charming.
Hmmm anything else?

ok... now from websites:


Blue suggests importance and confidence. It is a colour linked with intelligence and stability. In Iran, blue is the colour of mourning.

The colour blue

2. SAYSS>>>>>

Blue is the coolest color - the color of the sky, ocean, sleep, twilight. The ancient Egyptians used lapis lazuli to represent heaven. Blue symbolizes the Virgin Mary. A pure blue is the color of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. Blue is often the chosen color by conservative people. Blue is the calming color. That makes it a wonderful color to use in the home, especially for babies. Blue is so soothing that is a good choice for pajamas. Dark blue is the color of truth and moderation. A blue iris means your friendship is very important to me. Wednesday's color is blue. Blue gemstones to wear to feel calm are blue sapphire and blue topaz. Lapis lazuli and azurite are said to heighten psychic power.

Turquoise is the symbol of youth, both the color and the gemstone. This color has a soothing affect. Turquoise is the color of communication. It contains the growth quality of green with the blue quality of communication. Turquoise has long been used in amulets to provide protection, health, confidence and strength.

Aqua is the color of high ideals.

Blue Energy

Blue gives a feeling of distance. Artists use it to to show perspective. This is a good way to understand the energy of the color blue - it allows us to look beyond and increase our perspective outward. It contains a cool vibration that is helpful to communication.

The vibration if blue can be used to open energy flow where it is blocked. Using blue to relax will encourage feelings of communication and peace.

Put some blue in your life when you want:

  • calm and relaxation to counteract chaos or agitation
  • to open the flow of communication
  • to broaden your perspective in learning new information
  • solitude and peace

Blue gem stone properties

Blue gemstones promote peace and are used to calm ragged emotions. They are used to provide relief to people who have difficulty sleeping or who have nightmares. They offer inspiration and enhance the quality of communication.


It's a countdown... to my holiday and to my wedding day. :) Can't hardly wait. 10 more days to go to my holiday and 21 day to go to my wedding day. 21 day... hmmm wish time could go much more faster.

Anyway, today, sitting with my friends, I did felt a little under-achieved than them. Well, to think of it, it was my choice anyway. I didn't want to further my studies, and chose to be a average person. I don't think I'm better than anyone, because I don't have degree, and I don't the gut to pursue anything my heart desire. This life is such an adventure. I just don't to be tie down to the norm. Anyhow, I let myself to become a submission to this pathetic life (That's what I think this life is). Lately, (actually about a few months back), I thought of something. Something I want to become and do in this life. Not just to be average people with average achievements. I need to start thinking BIG. How to start thinking BIG?? It is not because of the quantity of the pay-check I'm thinking of. It is more about my family, and the time I want to have with them. The liberation of working alone ( I mean self-employed).

Freedom, and time consuming work. :) To be continue....

Friday, September 3, 2010

Energy.. I need you

Since I was young, my favourite past time is SLEEPING. Not because that I was lazy, it was because I have heart illness. And it caused me to feel tired all the time, and the antidote was SLEEP. After operation, I became normal, but still I can't get rid of the sleeping habit. The irony is that sleep eases me, and give the pleasure none of the other activities can ever give me. Am I sick? I don't think so. Anyway, sleep is a blessing. hehehehe. I know many people out there have the same view.

Time and time again..

Hmmm... Try not to do count down, but unconsciously, my mind just keep track of time and did the count down. Anxious? Nervous? Actually, I can't hardly wait to meet my love again. He is my partner? (should I use term 'partner'?). My heart and soul is aching to see him. But somehow, unlike the movie, I manage (Thank God) to stay on with reality and live my everyday life accordingly. Thanks to DISTANCE and home education. Miss him time to time again. Want him time to time again. Just want to forget about the TIME that pass so slowly.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Less and less

I found myself reading less and less and less books.... there's the energy drainage.. and time consuming relaxing that i need. I used to have so much to indulge in books.... And enjoy it so much... Now?? Oh God, Please grant me the time to seek more knowledge, and be a better person than i am now.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


I have sore throat... and don't want the sore throat to last... What to do?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Color Of Ramadhan

In love... so in love.... with so many things. Ramadhan... full of colours. Full of blessings. Remembering the first time I tried fasting. I was 16 years old. It was a try. And then I tried and tried... and it became so inviting. The feeling of the first sip of water during the fast breaking moment... MasyaAllah. I love it so much. Hmmmm....

Monday, August 9, 2010

my love,,,,

MeyMiao, This my beloved cat. He's grey, and fat. :) Love him so much. Just came back from my hometown. I have been long since I went back home. Really miss home. The most I miss about home is my two cats.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Today and tomorrow...

Today I'm here (in Kuching) and tomorrow I will be in there (Selangor).... Hmmmm Can't wait to see him. But there's a lot things to be pack today (ARGH!!!!)... Really don't like packing (or tidying or organizing). Hate it... Hate it... Hate it... Urghhhhh......

Travel and journey... What's the difference?

Me and my journey of life, but I hate to travel with a lot of luggage. Oh help me please...

There isn't a lot of things to talk about today, because I'm anxious to travel.. (Hopefully my things aren't overweight). It's been a long time since i last travel.

You are welcome to leave comments....

Everybody are welcomed to leave their comments ,, Just click the comment button below. And then type your comments. Thanks.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

choices choices choices

Today is another miserable day... Headache and heartache...Emotion so unstable.
Remember the younger days... Everything is nothing. And nothing is everything. Immature. Hmm.. that's what make life so cheerful. Because no rule. But then, there's a BIG 'BUT' there...if I was thoughtful enough back then, I wouldn't end up like with this kind of situation. Everything will be in place. Everything!.

I hope and pray that I'm not too late to get start my plan for my life. Don't want to stuck in this yucky and bad situation more than I can bear. How does they achieve it with all the challenges come around the corner every now and then?

Dear doctor,,, today, i'm feeling so angry.....
Why some people just know how make other people's miserable,, as though they nothing else to do... ARGHHHHH!!! I'm angry and mad at this kind of people. Even he/she is in the high ranking position, they do not need to make other's life difficult.....

Monday, July 26, 2010

Plans and management???

1. 24 hour per day
2. Sleeping ---> 8 hours
3. Meals and preparations of meals -----> 4 hours
4. Showersss---> 1 hour
5. Nap??? -------> 1 hour
6. Chat with boyfriend & friends & online ------> almost unlimited

so here's the picture of where my time went.....

Hmmmmm (Sigh~~~~~)

Need more quality time for my life...... Leaving internet???? Maybe just lessen the time I spend online.....

Vote Please......

Need to spend time to my writing that I've been planning to do......
Help me God

Friday, July 23, 2010

Reality... Black and white... and Grey

Ya Allah, The Most Passionate and Most Merciful...
I'm sorry for my lack knowledge. For anyone who read this, I want to convey a message through the net (or the world you might say), that there's a war going on. Silently. Between the Good and the Bad. The light(white) and the dark(black). Sorry for readers who are looking for light reading material or love stories, this is not the post for that.

I was like most of the majority normal people, didn't care and didn't know what was going on through out the world. Because, honestly, I would say, " What can I do? I have no money nor power..". ( That sounds so common right?). Not until I saw these videos on Youtube, of some people who try to convey the truth to people out there... The truth that we common people fail to see. The truth that there's an evil out there trying to enslave us. What's more frightening , is that it's being going on without us realized it.

For those who thinks the colour of their dress is more important than giving out $5 to give to charity, for those who thinks that TV is instrument to control their children so they would sit still and stay home, for those who thinks that luxury is the ultimate goal of there life rather than their grave... Please.. Again please wake up........

Our life is not just about the material we try to gain every single day of our life, our life is not just about trying to be with our spouses for happiness, there more than that....
Have anyone try to find it?? has anyone??

Blood has been shed... a lot... red in colour... in the war of the white and black..... the red colour fills the earth... have anyone seen it?? Or are you blind??

Wake up... Because ... it might be yours blood or the one you love because... the war is near...

Please visit to view what i'm talking about....

You are welcome to leave comments....

Dear friends, and visitors... you are welcomed to leave your comments on these posts... thank you.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


What day is Today??? What's the time now?

I keep keeping tract of the time.... everything seem so slow and meaningless. (Or is it me the one who have no meaning or purpose of life?) I wonder.

Where to go? What to do?

Oh tonight I have to leave my BROADBAND at my office,,, because i don't want to sleep late tonight. I have been waking up late for the past few days.... oh Man... (and where has 'systematic' stuff that I've talked about went? Did it dissolve just like my DREAM last night?)

I'm counting the days to meet my future husband ( a really lovely man). 10 days to go. Really really miss him so badly.
And another 2 months to go until my wedding day.

Love... so sweet yet so frightening.... hehehe

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

today's breakfast (actually almost everyday's breakfast)

Today I ate Laksa Penang for breakfast.... Spicy,,, last few days not so spicy (maybe she spiced it up a little bit today) .. and my tummu felt a bit of 'burning' sensation.

How's today my plan for SYSTEMATIC LIFE???
----> 10% of the aim reach (I think so) hmmmm

When can i reach 50%.... Oh dear (sigh~~~) Hopefully my aim will be achieve.

The other thing, I have been thinking of make a 'robe' or so called Abaya design of clothing. Hmmm... where's the 'plan'? How to do it? Where's the teacher? (smiling).... Love it when I question. But no answer for now. ONLY PLAN. I think I know what to do. The design isn't that difficult. I can ask woman who know how to sew to teach me a bit of the basic design. For my passion in sewing is quite good.... So I stop here for this moment. And will be continuing later on. Muah muah my blog...

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Effect of Color GREEN 2

The Effect of Color GREEN

From :
They say : Green color is very easy on the eye, and nature keeps us entertained with an abundance of green hues, tints and shades.

While from :

They say: Green occupies more space in the spectrum visible to the human eye and is second only to blue as a favorite color. Green is the pervasive color in the natural world that is an ideal backdrop in interior design because we are so used to seeing it everywhere.

The natural greens, from forest to lime, are seen as tranquil and refreshing, with a natural balance of cool and warm (blue and yellow) undertones. Green is considered the color of peace and ecology. However, there is an "institutional" side to green, associated with illness or Government-issued that conjure up negative emotions as do the "slimy" or bilious greens.

How the color green affects us physically and mentally
* Soothing
* Relaxing mentally as well as physically
* Helps alleviate depression, nervousness and anxiety
* Offers a sense of renewal, self-control and harmony

for More info about GREEN you can visit :

There's a note about people who owned green vehicle from the site above:

What it says about you when you buy a green vehicle

There is no question that the vehicle you drive is an extension of your personality -- an unspoken, but clear message to the rest of the world.

  • The message you send by driving a vehicle that is Dark Green: Traditional, trustworthy, well-balanced.
  • If, however, your vehicle is a Bright Yellow-Green, you give a different impression: Trendy, whimsical, lively.

Hehehehe... that's what i like about COLOURS,,, especially GREEN!!!

photo and beauty

heheheh,,,,, I LOVE PHOTOS,,, i like everything about graphic.. ISN'T SHE PRETTY.... GOD GIVEN BEAUTY....

Be My Friend

Anyone who is interested to be my friend,, please add me in Facebook... My name Lenny Boniface

Thank you.... love to meet beautiful minded people,,,, peace to you

today,,, and systematic,,,,

oh hell!!! looking for my stuff... again!!! everything such a mess!!!! When will i ever learn to be SYSTEMATIC?!?!?! Hmmmmmmm (sigh) ,,,,,, HELP ME ALLAH,,.... My room's a mess, my things mess, AND WORST OF ALL.... MY LIFE A BIG STICKY MESS...............

So today LESSON and training will be:::::----->>>>> CLEANING UP

AND ----------------------------------------->>>>>> SYSTEMATIC!!!!


what is it??? a reminder??

All of my life (since i left secondary school) i couldn't find my real purpose of life. I don't want to be hero, or a leader, or an artist( though when i was a little girl wanted to be a singer). Don't to be a loser either. Really,,, i was living in fantasy world.

My life purpose has to start somewhere... here, today, now,
What should i do?
-make a list
- get a book

so this blog will be my witness of my everyday journey to discover PURPOSE OF MY LIFE.

Sunday, July 18, 2010



Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Colour gives impacts

colours do influence human being...

reminder for me

Perbanyakkan beristighfar, sebab dengan istighfar aka nada rezeki, aka nada jalan keluar, aka nada keluarga, akan ada ilmu yang mendatangkan manfaat, akan ada kemudahan, dan akan ada penghapusan dosa.

Andalah yang mewarnai hidup anda dengan cara pandangan anda terhadap hidup itu sendiri. Dengan kata lain, kehidupan anda adalah ciptaan fikiran anda sendiri. Justeru, jangan mengenakan kacamata hitam.

Lakukanlah zikir-zikir tertentu sebab ia akan menjadi penjaga dan pelindung anda. Dan di dalamnya ada kebenaran dan petunjuk yang akan membuat waktu-waktu anda menjadi lebih bermakna.

Carilah rezeki yang halal, dan jauhi rezeki yang haram. Hindarkan dirimu untuk mengemis kepada yang lain. Berdagang itu lebih baik daripada menjadi pegawai. Gunakan wangmu untuk berdagang, dan hiduplah dengan sederhana.

Pada waktu bersujud, bisikkan semua urusan anda kepadaNya sebagai kekuatan, kerana Dia Maha Tahu yang tersamar dan tersembunyi. Dan juga jangan anda perdengarkan kepada orang-orang di sekitar, sebab cinta itu memiliki rahsia-rahsia sementara orang tidak: ada yang tidak suka dan ada pula yang membantu.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

hmmm tell me

Learning what is blog??? What to write.... what to post.... hmmm give me time

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Smile. It's me. My first time doing blog... Reasons?? Let me think it through